I turned 50 in quarantine mode. My children are grown and I have a nice size house where we can all go to our corners to get our stuff done. I have a high school student, a college student and a Kindergarten teacher (she’s only there sometimes) and of course a husband. They can all take care of themselves. They like it when I take care of them, but they are fully capable when I need them to be. It is a LOT! However, I have been thinking about you young mamas.
I have had the freedom and space to learn to do my job at home and try some different things out. I absolutely cannot imagine doing it with a toddler on my lap and/or while teaching third grade math. That honestly sounds like my own personal hell! I have always been ambitious and I was certainly not made to be a stay at home mom, much less a homeschool stay at home mom. What a nightmare that would be and how damaged would my children be at this point??!
I was the mama who had a big meeting so I tylenolled (is that a word?) up my feverish child and took her to daycare in order to get through it. I knew the Tylenol would get me through my meeting before the daycare called to tell me that she had a temperature. I know, scandalous, but we’re all doing the best we can and she turned out fine!
As I look at the phases for getting “back to business”, I see that many businesses open up before daycares do. Even if daycares were open, how comfortable would you be taking your children there? Children have no boundaries. If a little one loves you she will hug you, snuggle you and might even lick you with abandon! They also love each other and their teachers. You cannot control that!
I love my children. I would put my love for my bunch up against anyone’s, but ladies, this is not a competition! It is not about who does more or does it better. We all have different gifts and different comfort levels. We all have gut feelings and we know what we’re doing. Don’t let mommy guilt or guilt about your job take over! Do what you do! God trusted you with humans for a reason. He knew you could do it! Why don’t you give yourself some grace and do what you feel best about.
Chances are, you have already figured out how to do your job from home. Talk with your supervisor and/or co-workers, whatever is appropriate, and take your time. There are probably people like me in the office, people who can go to the office anytime to answer calls, etc. Let those people fill in the holes at the office. There may be a time when they need you to do something while they take care of a parent or their own health issues. DON’T feel guilty. If you don’t feel safe taking your children to daycare, don’t! You are the person who knows what is best! Trust your gut and your expertise!
Honestly, I was at the point in my life when I wasn’t sure how many more family dinners we would have with just our core group. I hate cooking and cleaning up, but we have spent several nights as a family of 5 that we wouldn’t have had. I will cherish those dinners! Try to enjoy your babies. They do grow up and you wonder why you felt the guilt you did. You are strong, you are smart and you are chosen by God to be a mother. Do the best you can. Soon enough, we will all be running a hundred miles an hour and our children will be in all the activities. We will remember this time as a pause, a time when we got to know a little bit more about the inner workings of our favorite people.