Years ago, my daughter asked Santa for a Barbie Dream House for Christmas. Toys R Us was in the town where my sister in law was a college student. I asked her to pick one up for me before they sold out. Yes, it was one of those years!
When she brought it by, she had gotten a Loving Family dollhouse. She said, "It was so much cuter than the Dream House!" "I don't think you understand!" I stammered. "She asked Santa for the Dream House! This Christmas just won't be magical without it!" I then proceeded to take the Dream House back to Toys R Us so that I could trade it for the right one, only to find out that they did not have any Dream Houses left. I called Walmart and they had one! However, the person behind the counter proceeded to tell me that he could not give me my money back, he would have to refund me in Geoffrey Bucks. GEOFFREY WHAT!!?
Everyone knows that when you are starting out, there is no extra money for mistakes like this! Surely he understands that I have to have the cash so that my baby can get exactly what she told Santa she wants for Christmas! I basically lost it in Toys R Us. My friend Shea, who was with me that day said, "I've never seen you that way!" "Well," I said, "It was either that or no Christmas!"
Spoiler alert: The sales person did give me my money back and I was able to get the Barbie Dream House at another store, but to what end? I certainly was not spreading the Christmas Spirit, and my friends and family were witnessing my ridiculousness!
We put so much pressure on ourselves as parents, and even as humans, to make sure that Christmas is perfect. I have been known to completely break down because I didn't have time to address the Christmas cards, buy and wrap the gifts, perform at my job, get my workouts in, cook nutritious meals, make sure the holiday baking was done and check everyone's homework folders every night. Nobody is super human! It is ok to ask for help. It is ok to take the night off. It is ok to skip some of the crazy holiday hustle in favor of a quieter, more low-key tradition.
I am not proud of the way I approached Christmas for many years. I was so focused on everything being exactly as I envisioned it, that I did not enjoy any of it. At times I was even resentful that I had to be a part of it. I started to dread Christmas more that I loved it. One year, I looked around and thought, "What part of Christmas brings me the most anxiety?" It was the Christmas cards. I haven't sent any since that day. My favorite Christmas memories involve Christmas Communion, decorating the real tree we get and our cookie decorating contest. This contest is restricted to my immediate family because it looks like a bunch of kindergarteners have baked and decorated these cookies, but Santa LOVES them!
I think if you asked my now grown children, they would cite the same memories. They would not remember being late for everything, getting the wrong color toy or attending numerous parties with lavish food and decorations. They remember the homemade costumes for the Christmas play, and by homemade, I mean bathrobes and sheets. They remember driving around looking at Christmas lights and going through a drive thru.
This year I challenge you. Christmas is a special time of year. A time when we remember Jesus' birth. Don't get it twisted. That is what Christmas is. Make sure you spend time reflecting on that and be less concerned with perfection. It is easy to lose your joy when the pressure is on. It won't make or break your Christmas to miss a party because sitting in your PJ's watching a movie is more enticing that day. I would be hard pressed to tell you what I got for Christmas a single
year growing up. What I do remember is hearing the Christmas story, hugging my grandparents and playing cards in their basement, lots of laughter (my Daddy has the best laugh on the planet), and sitting with my family watching Rudolph every year.
What are your favorite family traditions? What does your family love the most? Focus on those. Make sure your family remembers your joy, not your anxiety, even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom for 30 minutes to sit in the bathtub with a glass of wine, and have a joy-filled Merry Christmas!
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