It’s OK to not be OK

I am writing this blog post to let you know that I am definitely not OK right now.  I am balancing getting my youngest graduated from college and my oldest married, all in the same month, along with all the things I take care of and deal with on a daily basis.  

We’ve all watched a celebrity be interviewed on television and be asked something like, “So, you have three children, a new blockbuster movie coming out and you just started a new cosmetic company!  How do you do it all?” And then said celebrity says, “well, we have to do a lot of planning, but I’ve always been really organized.”  After watching an interview like this, women everywhere are suddenly thinking they are terrible failures because they can’t even get the kids dropped off and get to work on time!  I call BS.  Let’s be honest, that celebrity has a stylist, makeup artist, someone to handle day to day for her company and chef, nanny and a house keeper!

As women, we have to be honest with each other.  There are days that I don’t have the capacity to get out of bed.  Does that make me a failure? It does not.  I also have someone who cleans my house on a regular basis.  I think that makes me smart, not a failure.  Life is a LOT.  We have terrible diagnoses for ourselves and our family members, we have huge responsibilities and people we love enough to take care of them.  However, we have to be honest and let each other know that sometimes, it is just too much. You do not have to be OK all the time.  

As a young mother, I can remember thinking, “How do I do all of this?  How is everyone else pulling this off and I am making a mess of it?”  My Mom always taught me that when you leave the house you have it all together.  You have to make sure you make all A’s, look a certain way and just in general, you cannot leave yourself in a position to mess up.  It might have been her and it might have been my tendency toward perfectionism, but I am just not good at giving myself grace.  I am getting better and giving myself a break.  I want to be honest with all of you.  I am not always OK and you don’t have to be either.  

Do what you need to do to recover or bounce back or just feel better.  ASK FOR HELP. This one is hard for me.  Hopefully we all have someone we can call on for support and then someday, we can return the favor, because, I assure you, it is not just you.  Check on your people, let someone know if you are having an especially bad day and know that it is not a failure to have a therapist or a prescription, or both.  They exist for a reason. I love my people and I am getting better at asking for help and at giving myself grace.  Life be lifin’ and it’s  not always fun, but then it’s beautiful and you just have to find ways to deal with it all.